not that i want to repeat myself or anything, but

BUY SOMEONE ARSENE YOU TOOL

apparently, he has millions to spend:

'"If he said 'I want this guy and he's £30m, can I buy him?', the answer is yes. Absolutely yes," revealed Arsenal director Danny Fizsman.'

i think danny fizsman is the largest shareholder at the emirates and now presumably is taking a more active role in the club following keith edelman's departure, so i am guessing that this is correct.

oh arsene, how you frustrate me.

predictable premiership prognostications

woooo two posts in one day!

i'm either very bored or you're...

alright, i'm very bored.

so, the premiership! it actually looks genuinely good this weekend, with two legitimate crucial games and the end of the transfer window.

the biggest game is undoubtedly chelsea vs spurs. not only is this a london derby involving two fanbases that pretty much hate each other, it is a hugely significant match up for tottenham. having lost two in a row already, you expect them to make it three against last year's runners up. but the problem is, this would be a mild disaster - they have a dangerous game against villa the following weekend, and a third defeat in a row would put their aspirations of a top 5 finish in genuine danger. but to do anything but lose (and the likelihood is that would be a heavy loss), they will need a performance completely at odds with anything produced so far - one of grit, determination and skill. as much as it pains me, i just don't see it: spurs have been so completely hopeless thus far that losing to chelsea, such a habit anyway, is almost inevitable.

elsewhere, villa are at home to liverpool. no more needs to be said about liverpool (although i said that last time); but villa are an enigma. in ashley young they have probably the most outstanding young english attacker, excepting wayne rooney, in the premier league - last year he essentially carried the villa attack on his own, getting the highest amount of assists in the league last year whilst also picking up 8 goals himself - and the combination of him with gabriel agbonlahor and the man-beast himself, john carew, is a potent triumvirate. however, gareth barry hasn't looked like his old self yet (i wonder why), and they've been woefully inconsistent, winning just 4 of their last 13 premier league games. you can probably write off their poor end to last season, which was almost certainly the product of a thin squad stretched to breaking point, but losing to stoke (i don't care what anyone says, they're going down) is unacceptable. that carlos cuellar may be available will presumably help (i've never seen him play, so you're guess is as good as mine), but given that liverpool are playing so badly i have no idea what is going to happen here. i'll be watching it, so i hope its a good match, but god knows, frankly.

finally, arsenal newcastle. i was chatting with my brother, a newcastle fan, about them yesterday - i concluded that they're possibly a top 9 side if they keep the majority of their first xi fit. this would be a definite result for keegan, and i don't see why it can't happen, especially with everton, blackburn and pompey all potentially getting worse. they look solid at the back, with taylor and coloccini forming what is probably the most effective centre back partnership they've had in a while. habib beye was quietly excellent last year, and charles n'zogbia looks is becoming a decent left back. in front of the back four they have danny guthrie (a rough diamond), nicky butt is enjoying an inexplicable renaissance (i'm assured he was brilliant last season by said brother) and they've got two penetrative wingers in jonas and milner (if he stays), with damien duff looking, well, less worse than he did a few months ago. up front, michael owen (who might be the topic of his own post soon) remains dangerous against lesser sides and obafemi martins has an incredible combination of power and pace, although it is one he utilises all too infrequently. its a decent looking team, potentially, but one that doesn't really have much depth - injuries could quickly put joey barton and alan smith (a championship striker masquerading as a premier league midfielder) into the team, and i don't think anyone wants that to happen.

as for arsenal, it is suddenly a big game, as they really need a win after last week's calamitous performance at craven cottage. fabregas will presumably be back, which is crucial, and i expect them to win - narrowly. hopefully with a goal from samir nasri, if only because he's in my dream team and that currently isn't going too well.

the champions league draw is dangerous for two underperforming english clubs (guess who!)

the fellow on the right should put the fear of god into liverpool fans.

his team, atletico madrid, aren't great - they couldn't defend last year and probably still won't be able to this year, whilst the centre of their midfield is a little on the pedestrian side. however, on the plus side, they have a ridiculously dangerous strike partnership: diego forlan and perhaps the best young striker in world football, kun aguero. sensational since making his debut for independiente at the age of 15 (if my brother is reading, yes, i know you saw him first), he moved to atleti in 2006, at the age of 18, and has been pretty sensational ever since. last year he turned in one of the most outstanding individual performances of the season as he beat barcelona almost single-handed, scoring 2, winning a penalty and creating the fourth as atleti ran out 4-2 winners at the calderon.

anyway, the point is that he's phenomenal. and liverpool should be very very scared. and although he's the highlight of the champions league draw for me, liverpool can't be complacent against marseille either, as despite losing nasri they have been rejuvenated under gerets, who has coupled a dangerous attacking unit, bolstered by the potential genius/head-case hatem ben arfa, to a more solid defence. i expect liverpool to go through, but no without some scares.

as for arsenal, tricky away ties abound. fenerbahce, who pushed chelsea last year, are strengthened by the addition of guiza and aragones, whilst dynamo will be tough opposition in kiev having had almost a full season of football under their belts. porto may have lost bosingwa but they still have quaresma, as well as their dangerous argentinian contingent, and will be tough at the dragao. assuming no new signings and their usual injury problems, i can envisage arsenal enduring three winless, joyless trips away from the emirates. even more than liverpool, i think arsenal are in real danger of being upset and having to drop into the uefa cup this season.

everytime i watch liverpool i want to punch rafa benitez in his stupid face

i've had it with this shit.

liverpool are terrible. another woeful performance last night, and by rights they should be out of the champions league. instead, the imbecilic talking heads will start spewing the same fatuous platitudes that we hear every season, that champions are defined by the ability to win whilst not playing well.

this, intuitively, is nonsense. the idea of winning whilst playing badly is an idea predicated on sheer chance, as playing truly badly inevitably means conceding chances to your opposition, chances that you then rely on them to miss. so what this means is that you're winning through no power of your own, which means you have no influence on the result, which, logically speaking, simply cannot be the secret to any long term success.

and so it went last night, with multiple chances conceded to liege last night, including one in the dying moments of the second half. that would be multiple chances, like those they conceded to middlesbrough at the weekend, like the penalty they missed and the header that may have crossed the line in the first leg of the tie. with better sides, or less good fortune, liverpool would have lost against middlesbrough and been about 4 or 5 down to liege by the end of yesterday's first half. obviously, it is an idiot that somehow equates this to championship form - the sign of champions is always going to be consistently good performances punctuated by the lucky victories that most teams get through the course of a season. okay, so a team full of better players will invariably steal a couple of games more per season than a team full of average players - so whilst liverpool will get the occasional 25 yarder from steven gerrard in the last minute of a game, stoke will probably end up with nothing of the sort. but liverpool have always generated these goals and these victories - witness gerrard's strikes against olympiakos to save their champions league campaign a couple of years ago, or his last minute FA cup final goal against west ham, and the ultimate "winning whilst not playing well performance" when they beat ac milan to claim the european cup - so the idea that this is suddenly a sea change that will propel liverpool up the league table is utter folly.

instead, over the course of a year, playing that team, or a rough approximation of it, week in, week out, will leave liverpool in crisis. it was a team with no width and little pace down the flanks, little passing rhythm, no contributions from the full-backs, no passion, a strike partnership that looked anything but, and, above all, a worrying inability to tighten up defensively. the latter, certainly, should worry liverpool fans, as playing like that against a top 4 side, or even half-decent premier league teams, will see them lose many games this season. the return of mascherano will tighten them up, but his presence just add even more questions - can he really play in a midfield four? does xabi then drop to the bench? won't that damage liverpool's passing game even more? - to the already long list about width and pace. certainly, their upcoming games against villa, man united and everton will result in some answers. but i wouldn't be too hopeful if i was a liverpool fan at the moment.

barcelona are probably going to win la liga this year

so, bet you were all wondering why i didn't write anything yesterday huh? right?

oh.

anyway, it obviously wasn't because i had anything better to do, just that i couldn't think of anything to talk about. berbatov should leave blah blah blah, liverpool are rubbish blah blah blah... couldn't face it, y'know? anyway, i read guillem balague's interesting yet appallingly edited la liga preview yesterday i felt inspired to do my own. well, kind of.

so, first things first - the most important person in la liga this season is this man:


(its pep guardiola)

barcelona were terrible last season. there are lots of explanations as to why the erstwhile best team on the planet got so hopeless they finished behind eighteen (18!) points behind a mediocre, 7-loss real madrid side last year: ronaldinho was a fat lazy cretin, the dressing room was divided and unhappy, frank rijkaard didn't have the authority to sort things out, the squad wasn't actually good enough, the only man willing to whip the players into any shape (terry-berating ironman henk ten cate) left... there was an element of truth to all of them.

as barca faltered, it seemed like rijkaard lost the courage of his convictions. alright, so ronaldinho was definitely a fat lazy cretin, but he wasn't ever crucial to the success of the catalans - he was the icing on the cake, ridiculously talented but a passenger, one that needed the team to work for him, to deliver possession and track back so he could be indulged. his talent won games they wouldn't have otherwise won, but ultimately it was that midfield axis, the brilliance of deco and xavi, that drove barca's beautiful game. and they were supported across the field by a team full of attacking verve. but when things didn't go so well, rijkaard moved away from this template and became more defensive - the full-backs withdrew, barely venturing across the half-way line, in came yaya toure (admittedly a success) and ronaldinho was often replaced by andres iniesta, a central midfielder who narrowed the game and lacked real pace. with deco often finding himself out of the team, barcelona lacked his incision, as well as the width they once had. they became reliant on the genius of leo messi for inspiration, but his genius is coupled with a desperate trend of injury problems. and so the in-fighting continued, and real walked to the title.

i hope this will change under guardiola. under his brief stewardship, barcelona have made multiple signings - caceres, keita, hleb, piqué - but the most crucial signing must be that of dani alves, the world's best right-back. he will lend them more width and verve than they have had for some time from full-back, and the partnership he will form with messi on the barca right could be devastating, with messi cutting inside and allowing space for alves to bomb forward on the overlap. the left seems a bit more of a problem - abidal doesn't offer quite the attacking nous that alves does, and i imagine they will play iniesta in a narrow attacking midfield station out there - but xavi and seydou keita could be a good partnership in central midfield, and guardiola should also sort out the problems with morale and fitness. if he does, and messi stays fit, i can't see anyone stopping them from winning the title.

elsewhere, i'd like to see real madrid spectacularly fail. this is now two consecutive seasons in which they have won the league title almost by default as challengers failed to materialise, playing ridiculously ordinary football, grinding out results thanks to their determination and firepower. this, coupled with their outrageous behaviour in the cristiano ronaldo saga, just leave me hoping that someone a little more deserving will win this time around. the problem is, that they actually have a good side. alright, they lack variation in central midfield (a more soporific tandem of gago and diarra i cannot imagine), but if ruben de la red gets a run in the side that could help, and they always have wesley sneijder to come back. plus, ruud van nistelrooy remains a fantastic player, arjen robben was absolutely devastating in the super cup on sunday and they will also probably have another top-quality attacker coming in to replace robinho (possibly santi cazorla or david villa). defensively, cannavaro has probably seen better days, but pepe should continue to develop if he stays injury free, and they still have the superhuman efforts of iker casillas behind them.

also, look for valencia to get back amongst it - provided they don't lose villa between now and sunday. they can't be any worse than last year under koeman (who made a habit of playing strikers at right-back), and they retain a very talented team. sevilla have also added to their squad, and without the disruption of last year (when ramos walked out after a couple of months & antonio puerta tragically died after a heart attack on the pitch) they will probably make more of a challenge to the top-3.

it should be a great season regardless - the biggest thing for me is just the expectation that spanish football should experience a major revival this year, both domestically and in europe.

i am officially concerned by juande ramos

so that's now two in a row for spurs.

two losses and two poor performances.

ramos was quick to blame berbatov for the rather depressing defeat to a team who will finish mid-table at best this season, but i think jonathan woodgate may have been a bit more accurate with his appraisal of the situation:

"It's got nothing to do with him if we lost two games... we've lost two games because we haven't played well."

and he's right, because spurs have been listless, shapeless and frankly hopeless.

nor is it good enough to simply blame the influx of new players into the starting line-up - whilst you can see how the changes could negatively impact the attacking play and passing football ramos wants, spurs have also been awful at the back, with a defensive four we could have fielded last season. the real problem is that we have twice now seen a tottenham side with the wrong personnel on the field.

benoit assou-ekotto continues to be the same waste of space he has always been since joining from lens; didier zokora is a makeshift full-back playing ahead of an actual right back (chris gunter) signed in january; neither jermaine jenas or luka modric has any defensive presence; david bentley has excelled on the wing during the past two seasons yet was shifted inside to make way for a player who has got consistently worse during the same period (aaron lennon) and another who we signed as a left-back (gareth bale).

predictably, i don't understand what is going on. most of the above doesn't require anything too complicated - bale needs to move to left-back, bentley needs to move to the wing, zokora probably needs to move to the bench. but most crucially its clear that, currently, modric cannot be relied upon to play so deep in the premier league - essentially he needs more space and less work, at least until he properly acclimatises. that means playing him further forward. in his stead, spurs need a midfielder with real presence to anchor the team. ramos seems to currently disagree, but i'm not sure how much longer this can go on for.

obviously four things MUST now happen at white hart lane before the transfer window shuts:

- berbatov must be sold. it is time.
- a defensive midfielder must be bought. how depressing it was to watch city's £6m signing, vincent kompany, excel yesterday in that exact position.
- a centre-back must be acquired. particularly disappointing on saturday was how ledley king failed to get a head on the cross that allowed djibril cisse to score the winner.
- another striker must come in. i like darren bent, but i don't think having one striker in your squad is particularly sustainable.

man alive! arsenal need to do something. quickly.

i'm sorry arsene, you're my dude, there's no one else i would rather talk football with if i had the choice, but i think we both know that wasn't good enough last night.

i don't like second-guessing arsene when he starts shifting players around. he's the man that converted thierry henry from a winger devoid of confidence into the world's best striker; that somehow realised that kolo touré would make a brilliant centre-back despite being a rather unreliable central midfielder; that transformed a defensive utility man, emmanuel petit, into a world-cup winning midfielder. but, i'm not having emmanuel eboué as your starting central midfielder, even if fabregas is injured. this is a man that demonstrated absolutely no aptitude for playing in midfield last season - no footballing intelligence & poor technique made me cringe every time i saw the man start on the right wing. there's no way he should even be at arsenal this year, but i'd be surprised if there was another top-half premiership side that would go near him.

eboué's partner in crime yesterday, denilson, was awful as well. god knows what happened to him last season, when he wasn't seen even when arsenal were experienced their yearly injury crisis, but i still think he's got great potential. he needs, however, someone with a little presence next to him if we're to see his full potential, and emmanuel eboué isn't that.

so, for god's sake arsene, buy someone. you need an accomplished midfielder that can tackle, a proper partner for fabregas. what on earth are you doing trying to patch together this joke team when you've got money to spend? i don't want to endure this nonsense any longer. apparently the word is he might try and push touré into midfield with silvestre coming into the side - BUT WHY? WHY DO THIS? WHY ARE YOU NOT BUYING XABI ALONSO?

oh, and liverpool are still rubbish and have steven gerrard (and sheer luck) to thank for buggering up my nearly excellent prediction.

ill-thought out comments on the morning's transfer prattlings

apparently phillipe senderos is wanted by newcastle. i don't understand this. i know steven taylor is injury-prone and will likely miss something in the region of 10 games this season, but it is difficult to see how senderos will help them. at this point, i just don't see him as a premiership defender - too soft, too flaky... i'm 5'11 on a good day and weigh about 5 stone (none of which is muscle), and i have absolutely no doubt i could take down phillipe senderos.

meanwhile, down at white hart lane, i would say things have descended into farce, but that would be about 3 months too late. after reports that the levy/comolli/ramos braintrust had given up on him, we're now hearing that andrei arshavin may be on his way to london after all . i literally have no idea what is going on anymore. for what its worth, i am highly dubious about the transfer: i don't like how zenit have behaved, i don't like how arshavin has behaved, and ultimately i would be very wary of paying £18m for him. this is a man that, no matter how much you wish to hype his two good performances at euro 2008 (and as an aside, giovanni van bronckhorst looked like the best left back in the world for 3 games as well), isn't proven at the highest level. he's played well in the uefa cup, which is now a thoroughly second rate competition, the russian league and a couple of high-profile internationals. i'm not saying he doesn't look talented - he does - but i don't see how his achievements merit such a large transfer fee (and, no doubt, such a large wage packet). ah well.

lastly, the parallel berbatov mess continues to drag on, unabated. seems as if fergie now is fearing nothing will happen. i don't know why - man united should pay the £28m, spurs should just accept it (and make clear they would) and he should go. i bear no ill will towards berbatov, i don't blame him for wanting to move to a better club, and at this point it would be best if he did. spurs will never get as much for him as they will be able to now, and his mood almost certainly won't be helping the squad as a whole. what is becoming slightly baffling though is just why united haven't got a serious plan b. although i think berbatov would be basically the ideal partner for wayne rooney and that buying him would almost guarantee the title, there is obviously a good chance now spurs will refuse to budge on their valuation, and as such you would imagine that they should be discussing a fee for someone like klaas-jan huntelaar. they can't let this window pass without signing a "proper" striker.

i'm almost moderately excited about this weekend's football

i'm beginning to enjoy this nonsense. clearly, i'm not very good - all of my posts so far have been obscenely long, an unfortunate consequence of the fact i am a verbose bore. but, of course, that also means i'm going to keep on and on and on.

so, with that in mind, this weekend's premiership! i was very excited last weekend. this weekend i'm not really. one look at this rather desperate looking list should suffice.

however...

there are still a few games that look interesting. i guess the big one would be liverpool against middlesbrough at anfield. as i've previously mentioned, benitez's side were shocking against sunderland and liege, whilst boro are looking good: i doubted gareth southgate at the start, but i admire his quest to turn them into a real footballing side, and he's imbued the side with youth and enough verve to make them a dangerous proposition this season. the squad is thin and a little callow in places, to the extent that i can't see them doing any better than (a still creditable) 8th place finish this season - but there is real potential throughout, and they may catch a few 'bigger' opponents out whilst the pitches are still good and the inevitable injuries and suspensions haven't begun to wear them down. last week's performance against spurs was impressive, even if they were aided by terrible defending; they had a goal rightfully disallowed, allowed numerous good chances to slip away and could've won by a lot more. as an aside, i think justin hoyte is a potentially astute signing - as my brother will know, i actually made the rather premature claim a couple of seasons ago that he could be in the england squad, but despite his shaky performances last year i still rate him. he's a good footballer, as befits a product of arsene wenger, and i feel that given a regular first-team place he can regain his confidence and develop into the player i thought he was becoming.

i won't waste my time moaning about liverpool though. if you managed to drag yourself through my first post on the premiership, you'll already know my thoughts , but just in case: benitez has ruined the successful shape he stumbled onto last season by trying to force an ill-suited robbie keane into the starting 11; xabi alonso is out of favour, damian plessis doesn't look quite good enough and the team has no real width. as such, i fancy middlesbrough to get at least a draw.

elsewhere, wigan and chelsea on sunday is definitely intriguing. i may not care for steve bruce - i will never, ever forget the period at brum when he started playing his utterly hopeless son, alex, in defence, for no apparent reason - but to his credit he's done a good job at wigan. he's another manager that tries to play something a little more progressive, and i like some of his signings - i'm particularly interested in the progress of lee cattermole and amir zaki this season. but i'm mainly singling this out because of chelsea: as i have said, i'm dubious as to whether their win against pompey last weekend was anything more than a fluke result against a dreadful side, so i'll be watching them intently until things become a little clearer. this is exactly the type of game in which i would expect a good performance from frank lampard though, as he takes refuge from the typical england hostility in the snuggly warmth of chelsea. we shall see.

for similar reasons, i'll also be watching man united and pompey on monday. i have pompey pegged for a decline this season, and i'm on record saying i expect united to win the league again. i think we'll see united rebound and pick up a win, but they still need to pick up a striker. pompey have seen the gaydamak millions dry up a bit, and i believe that they desperately need one more quality midfielder - preferably a winger - if they are going to match last season's achievements.

england: predictably awful

well, at least when you're that cynical you can never be disappointed.

as you will have probably seen/heard/read by now, england were terrible. an absolute shambles.

the only hope i have at this point is that capello won't tolerate this anymore. when mcclaren - an incompetent manager, completely out of his depth, with absolutely no track record of success - was rightfully sacked, i was right behind the appointment of fabio. this is a man, i thought, that won't pander to egos as his predecessors had done; that might not have the players playing the most thrilling of football, but who will have a team committed to winning. we haven't seen much of that so far, but if there was ever a case to be made for revolution, it would've been last night's shapeless mess.

but what depresses me - to the extent that i'm now convinced the above passage is absolute self-delusion - is just how confused and plain wrong last night's selection was. england had a midfield triumvirate in barry, lampard and beckham that offered precisely nothing in the way of width, pace, defensive abilities or creativity. steven gerrard was again squandered, whilst rooney roamed across the pitch, trying to make something happen. defoe, in fairness, was in a desperate situation, but still failed to convince he is ever going to make either an adequate foil for rooney or an international class striker. england have good players throughout this squad, but there is a need to create a system that allows them to play to their strengths.

what england need is a proper defensive midfielder to anchor the team. this would allow the others to push further forward and, combined with a deeper playmaker, would create a much more effective shape for the team when we need to keep the football. also, it would fundamentally improve the team's defence, which looked incredibly unreliable last night despite the quality in the back four.

the problem is, whilst england have the players for that complementary position - michael carrick should be first choice due to his metronomic passing and all-round awareness, but gareth barry is perfectly capable of standing in and we also have tom huddlestone as a potential alternative - they lack options for the anchorman. owen hargreaves should surely be the choice, but he is currently injured and the tendinitis he suffers from restrict him from being an automatic selection. what this means is that the challenge now for capello should be to find the second choice, but a quick glance around the premiership reveal the paucity of options facing him. united excepted, none of the big four have englishmen in the position. spurs have huddlestone, but he's less adept at the dirty defensive work required. everton relied on lee carsley to effectively fill the role for the past few years, and judging by their performance against blackburn on saturday are yet to find a sturdy replacement. at city, michael johnson is a great prospect but another player more suited to filling in for carrick. at newcastle, danny guthrie might be an option in about five years, whilst lee cattermole at wigan and fabrice muamba at bolton are both worth watching.

where does this leave us? well, how about nigel reo-coker? a virtual ever-present at villa last year, he played very well, making more tackles than anyone else in the premier-league, with a higher success rate than javier mascherano. i'm not saying he's the most talented player in the league, but if there has ever been a time to for picking the right players for the right roles, then that time is now.

still, this is one problem amongst many. capello needs to stop bothering with jermain defoe and provide a proper partner for rooney. he needs to start joe cole and drop lampard and beckham. he also needs to institute a proper playmaker capable of retaining the ball.

who knows if this will all happen. judging on what has passed, i doubt it.

i am - legitimately i think - very very scared about what happens to us against croatia next month.

the requisite england bashing ahead of tonight's friendly

first things first: i clearly need to learn a new way to format my posts.

but yeah...

england

i'll be honest - i'm a big fan. i want them to do well. during the past 10 years i have been telling anyone who will listen (the dead, people trapped on tube carriages with me, animals) that england are brilliant. during world cup 06 i am pretty sure i made the claim that england had the most rounded, talented first xi of any of the nations.

you know what? i stand by that. man for man we had an excellent team, full of players that had impressed in a high-quality domestic league and in europe. its just lazy, cynical journalism that brands these players "not technically good enough" - if you've ever seen steven gerrard bang in a 30 yarder (FA Cup Final perhaps?), you know that takes supreme technique. if you witnessed joe cole score against sweden in that world cup, you know that took incredible ability. the same goes for every beckham cross, set-piece and 60 yard pass, for wayne rooney, for frank lampard, for michael carrick, for ashley cole...

it has never been a question of technique for this team, but of mentality, attitude, fitness and management. in 04 and 06 we saw ridiculously exhausted england sides play too defensively and squander great opportunities. the players never looked physically ready for the challenges ahead of them, the selection was uninspired and uncompetitive, and the objective for both players and coaching always missed the essential point: keep the fucking football.

today, i am a depressed england fan. i thought capello would change things. and he kinda did - he has broadened selection a bit, tinkered with formations and personnel at the right times (ie not euro qualifiers) and most importantly commanded respect.

but i'm worried.

the team selections are quickly returning to the mean. beckham, who should've been dropped FOREVER after 2004, is back. i have no idea why. all of the fatuous "he sets up goals" forgets a few things: one, a superior player changes the complexion of the team and allows them to play differently. two, his delivery and free-kick prowess has declined quite significantly since his heyday. three, he ruins our shape by ignoring his position and dropping inside, which is presumably caused by his desire to play central midfield and the disappearance of whatever pace he once possessed. four, england don't have the players to make the most of his supposed talents - our best attackers are smaller and work better with the ball to feet. we don't need high crosses and set-pieces being pumped into the box, we need to look to keep it on the ground.

lampard, a player i really like, shouldn't be anywhere near this team. he's a great player, but one who isn't fit for purpose. if we're playing an attacking midfielder, it has to be steven gerrard. if we're playing central midfielders, we need players more disposed to defensive work and maintaining possession. we need to give up attempting to shoe-horn lampard into the side. it hasn't ever worked.

we're also really thin in terms of striking options. michael owen is the shell of the player he once was. crouch hasn't ever quite engendered complete trust in his abilities, and defoe may be a good goalscorer but he is also a player who has never demonstrated any sort of true international class. emile heskey has scored 5 goals in 40-odd internationals. theo walcott is a midget. darren bent needs to play, and score, for spurs before getting into a squad.

obviously ignored is wayne rooney, a quality player who has lacked a proper partner at both club and international level too long. last season was perceived as a massive disappointment for him, but he spent most of it either playing alone or alongside carlos tevez, who, in the words of the guardian's paul doyle, is merely a "rich man's dirk kuyt" (i couldn't possibly produce anything more apt if i tried). he needs a player willing to lead the line and play to feet, allowing him to play facing the goal rather than with his back to it.

but the most disappointing thing is the lack of youth. i haven't a clue what more ashley young can offer - the man essentially scores or creates every single goal aston villa score. similarly, gabriel agbonlahor is the type of forward who would be very useful as a substitute if we're playing 4-2-3-1 , and i cannot understand why jermain defoe is being selected ahead of him, especially for a friendly. i fear the same for both stewart downing and jermaine jenas - good, hard-working, talented players, but ones that lack the top-level talent we need.

i would like to see england line up 4-2-3-1 with james/hart in goal, richards/ferdinand/terry/cole in defence, hargreaves/carrick holding (a very complementary, possession-oriented partnership), gerrard/rooney/cole in a fluid 3, with crouch or ashton upfront.

i am intrigued as to how it will go tonight. i don't hold out much hope.

potato-headed mikael silvestre to be the rock at the heart of arsenal's defence?

according to the guardian this morning, arsene wenger has somehow come to the conclusion that this man (far right) is the answer to his defensive woes.

"Another surprise for Arsenal's fans is that Wenger does not regard the former Internazionale defender merely as a squad player, or as a back-up for Gaël Clichy at left-back, but as a first-choice centre-half alongside William Gallas, primarily as a replacement for Philippe Senderos."

just to be clear: mikael silvestre isn't very good.

some thoughts about the opening weekend of the premiership

right.

the premiership eh?

i'll get it out of the way up-front - i think it is the best league in the world. no, really. i'm partial to spanish football, and when i move into my new flat and get my sky sports arranged, i will probably bore you about that as well. but its not as good.

i'm also probably completely biased, but let us forget this.

onwards with some opening weekend thoughts. i'm aiming for ten, but i may give up before then.

1. don't get excited about this man just yet. chelsea were good, of course. but pompey - a team that is likely to regress this season, having lost (and not replaced) muntari and failed to recruit the wingers they desperately needed (no, glen little and jerome thomas do not count) - were awful. the defending was shoddy, allowing chelsea far too much room & not adequately picking up runners. i still have no idea what younes kaboul was doing.

against a team pushing their full-backs forward and flooding the midfield, pompey needed to match numbers in central midfield and look to exploit the space behind bosingwa (who looked good, but is not a particularly good defender) and cole. they did neither. instead, chelsea were gifted chance after chance and gave them a thoroughly deserved hiding.

i think big phil is a good manager, but is absolutely, positively overrated. as a squad, i feel as if chelsea lack balance compared to manchester united, particularly if/when united sign a proper striker. john terry was quite adamant that chelsea underperformed last season and united had reached their peak, which was preposterous when you look at the way an older chelsea team ground out wins whilst a younger united team blew past so many competitors. if anything, united can expect players like nani and anderson to improve this season, as few young players from south america or europe adjust properly to the premiership until their second seasons. owen hargreaves should be fitter, michael carrick will only improve with age and european experience, whilst wayne rooney will benefit from playing alongside a proper striker (if they ever sign one). ronaldo probably won't score 42 goals again, but considering the man is 23 years old it is fundamentally unlikely, barring injury, that he has reached a peak.

rather, it is the older chelsea team that is more likely to decline, with lampard and ballack both the wrong side of 30 & didier drogba increasingly injury prone. deco is truly one of my favourite players in world football - i thought barca were absolutely crazy to sell him - but it is difficult to imagine he will play as he did on sunday, week in, week out, in his first season in the premiership, at the age of 31 (as he will be in about a week's time). also, when you look at the squad - ridiculously overloaded with central midfielders and strikers - you can imagine them getting bogged down at times, which is exactly the reason they have been unsuccessfully chasing robinho.

i will be very interested to see how phil copes against the big teams, the real challengers, and the teams that try and match chelsea in central midfield. very interested indeed.

2. don't get too worried about united. as i have alluded to above, this could potentially be a better team than last year. i think they can do without a "proper" striker against most teams - at least when they get ronaldo back - but the prospect of them playing 4-2-3-1 with hargreaves & carrick holding, ronaldo, rooney and anderson/nani behind berbatov is truly, truly frightening.

3. ramos got some things wrong.

first thing: benoit assou-ekotto may have talent, but that talent isn't defending. even if gareth bale isn't any better on that basis, i would still rather have him in the team as he just has more quality. the main feature of ramos's sevilla side was the buccaneering full-backs, and i feel as if bale has a great chance to do that for spurs, given a run in the team.

second thing: modric-jenas isn't a partnership that will work. i mean, i get it. modric is the deep-lying playmaker in the mould of andrea pirlo, whilst jenas does the running around in the mould of gattuso. the problem is that jenas doesn't have the bite of gattuso or the defensive nous, and whilst modric isn't hopeless defensively he has absolutely no physical presence, and whilst pirlo might be able to get away with that in serie a, asking modric to play that position in his first premiership game is very hopeful. as it turned out, with those two, the spurs back four had little protection.

the name of miguel veloso was floated as the answer to our defensive midfield problems, but i was hoping that huddlestone would fit into the side as the defensive presence in midfield. however, if ramos doesn't agree, it is imperative he signs a tackling midfielder before september 1st. without that, spurs will be easy prey for many sides.

4. arsene wenger is an idiot.

alright, he's not an idiot. actually, i would say he's the best manager in the premiership. people moan about the "big four", and champions league football entrenching a status quo in english football. this is, of course, nonsense. wenger has built an outstanding premiership side on a relative pittance, spending half as much as spurs since he took the arsenal job in 1996. he is better than any manager i have ever seen at assessing young talent; you can praise his scouting network all you like, but the fact remains he selects the squad and it is a testament to his ability that the players that do not make it almost invariably fail elsewhere. (as a spurs fan, this is actually the only thing about the bentley signing that worries me - wenger actually let him go. this rarely works out.)

however, his deeply idiosyncratic, highly successful method has never looked as wilfully childish as it does now. a refusal to countenance buying the players his squad needed is just downright bizarre, almost as if he's trying to make a stand against the harrods trolley dash approach of chelsea. he said a few weeks ago that arsenal are now a selling club, in order to meet the bank payments against the emirates, but i'm pretty sure that isn't true - i think peter hill-wood and keith edelman have both been on record saying that arsenal have the money to spend, and the coffers will be positively overflowing when the highbury square flats are all sold. so why then, when arsenal needed one more winger last season (making that two when alex hleb forced his departure), when they were lacking at both right back, centre back and central midfield, has wenger only signed samir nasri, 17 year-old aaron ramsey and amaury bischoff (who, if memory serves, didn't play one first team game with werder bremen)?

i am very interested to see if wenger opts to play alexandre song in central midfield alongside fabregas when he returns from beijing, as i thought he was excellent playing there for cameroon in the african nations' cup. he would also add some physicality into what is an otherwise lightweight midfield, and bolster arsenal's defending of set pieces. however, his last experience of premiership football was a shaky cameo in the back four last season and he still represents a risk; it is still a risk, and one injury to him risks playing denilson (a fabregas clone) or abou diaby (who has demonstrated neither the intelligence nor the drive to play central midfield on a consistent basis). there has been rumours of gohkan inler, the udinese player, but, frankly, i would like to see them make a run at a better player.

at the back, i have no idea what wenger is thinking. kolo toure seemed to regress last year, and although that may have been because he was playing injured, having to rely on senderos as your second option isn't good enough. for a man of his bulk, senderos can't be trusted against strikers that will try and test him physically, and arsenal need someone with real presence to partner one of gallas and toure, who are both smaller and pacier. at chelsea gallas was frequently superb, but benefitted from playing alongside john terry; at arsenal, he needs something similar.

wenger needs to get his cheque-book out, or risk consigning his team to moral victories only.

5. rafa benitez might not be that good.

i can't decide.

on the plus side, he's won two la liga titles, a uefa cup and a champions league. liverpool lost their second champions league final under his guidance, but were the better side and should have won. that in itself is pretty special.

on the negative side, he's obviously not managed true success in the premier league with liverpool. alright, true, his period in charge has coincided with the most pressurised, difficult time in the history of the premier league, with the spend of chelsea (and their success under mourinho) driving higher standards than ever before. just look at points totals required to win the league now - i don't have them to hand, but to win requires a level of dominance unheard of during the first decade of fergie's reign at old trafford.

what troubles me is the dichotomy between his league results in spain and england. what could be the difference? well, in spain he didn't sign the players. he worked under a sporting director at valencia, and although they had their differences (differences which drove him to leave for a league in which he would be granted complete power over transfers), he was delivered a side replete with quality, that had a real core and that maintained success despite losing the players that had initially driven them to continental reknown.

at liverpool, he selects the targets and rick parry signs them (or doesn't, as we have seen). now i'm not privy to the goings on within anfield, but there is, for instance, no way that parry played talent evaluator and signed robbie keane without asking benitez. i think we can assume that throughout his reign, benitez has personally selected every player signed by the club.

so, he has a transfer record, and that transfer record is a patchy one. too many players - kuyt, benayoun, pennant, nunez, josemi, crouch, zenden, bellamy, garcia - who were patently not good enough for a championship contender have been signed for decent amounts of money. don't get me wrong, he's made good signings: torres (and i wasn't sure about that), skrtel, agger, alonso, reina, arbeloa, mascherano (although i feel he was overpriced). i will give lucas & babel the benefit of the doubt, even if babel, a man who cannot finish, sees himself as a central striker. and the scouting system has been stocked with some promising youngsters. but it is a mixed record, and one that doesn't necessarily fill you with confidence if you're a liverpool fan hoping for another title.

my main point here is two-fold.

one fold is named barry, the other is named keane.

i am probably alone in the fact i like the idea of liverpool signing barry. i don't think he's a better playing than xabi, but i think he's a better player for liverpool at this point than xabi. a central midfield of xabi-mascherano-gerrard is good, but features two players that will sit very deep, and three right-footers. swapping in barry means you have someone who will play further up the pitch, help link play down the left and provide more of a goal-scoring threat. barry-macherano-gerrard is a very nicely balanced midfield in my eyes. that isn't to say he's worth £18m - the idea that because two "england midfielders" cost £18m he should too is utterly ridiculous because it ignores the simple fact that both hargreaves and carrick are better footballers - but i think he would be a good purchase.

i don't think the same about robbie keane. i've seen a lot of robbie keane the past few years, and i'll admit i have a massive soft-spot for him. however, i have never got the sense he is a top-class performer. for all of the goals he still isn't a deadly finisher, and for all of the pretty link-up play with berbatov he still runs down many a blind alley. technically he is good but not outstanding.

more importantly, i have no idea why liverpool have signed him. for the squad they have, and based on last year's performance, you would imagine they would stick with the 4-2-3-1. also based on last year's performance, you would imagine they might buy a winger. currently they have two strikers, babel and kuyt, as their first choice wingers. neither of those players delivers a quality of service that a player of torres demands, and neither fits particularly well with gerrard. where does keane fit in here? and if they play 4-4-2, who plays on the wings? gerrard and... babel?

so i've now seen two liverpool performances this week. both have been terrible. keane and torres haven't combined very well, but i'll give them the benefit of the doubt. what is most worrying that they just haven't addressed their main problems of last year, so the idea of them finishing even second (ahead of either united or chelsea) seems remarkably unlikely.


****

we'll assume i need to do some actual work today and forget the other five.

hello!

good afternoon.

yes, it is another blog

yes, it is about football. also, maybe some other sports. but i will try as much as possible to leave out my ramblings about film & music. (if you're reading this, you're probably having enough trouble maintaining interest in my thoughts about the shooting ability of didier zokora, so i'm not going to try and bore you with multiple topics.)

some ground rules:

- this will be mostly about the premiership. it will not be called the "epl" at any stage, by anyone. i may start calling it the premier league, but that is simply because i can't remember what barclays/barclaycard have decided it should be referred to this year.

- i will probably talk about international football and other leagues if and when i watch them. i may also write about these things based on complete guesswork. (try and work out which is which, it may be difficult.)

- i'm a spurs fan, which probably means excess moaning about jermaine jenas and excess eulogising about ledley king. however, i'm going to try to rein myself in most of the time. i like to think it won't be that bad.

- this is my first blog. don't know if there is any etiquette, but i imagine the likelihood is my gargantuan fanbase will correct me as i go along.

- if i actually manage to maintain this on a regular basis i will be absolutely astounded.

that is all. i will probably begin with some nonsense on the beginning of the premiership (cunningly timed starting this so i can avoid making predictions) and then start grumbling about england.

oh, another rule:

- i moan a lot. sorry.

(i'm not sorry really.)